The first institution God founded was the family which comes from marriage. God established only 3 institutions: The family, Government & the Church. These 3 institutions for the basic building blocks of a sane & well orderly society.

A wife is meant to be someone much more than an assistant in the business of life. A wife is meant to be a helper of man’s soul, to complete his personality and emotional being.

Friendship factor is indeed a huge requirement in marriage and this factor is meant to be seen even before marriage because if the wife is not a good friend before marriage, she is not likely to become one afterwards. However, I discovered that the most important need of a wife and husband is friendship. Being a stranger in the marriage instead of friends could be a seed that will produce weeds that choke a marriage into failure.

I realised that God instituted marriage as a means of causing His will to be done here on earth. Although, many dispute the idea of a husband and wife being one flesh or one bone, I see it from this angle – Being the bone of each other’s bone is that since you cannot cut off a part of your body without bleeding, you cannot separate yourself from your wife or husband without consequences; without bleeding, without creating a deficiency and leaving a scar. Even though some may insist that they will be better off if they separate, your life must sustain a defect. You must at the end discover scars and permanent defect in your life & personality.


Marital distress are often seen later in the marriage or even earlier at the start of the marriage. Most couples return from their honeymoon madly in love. They continue that way until they experience their first emotional conflict or clash of wills. Most often, it is not fatal though it leaves a slight scar on their relationship. If such scar is not cleaned up, it may compile to a huge wall of clashes that will cause huge damages in the marriage. Therefore, any wise wife who is peace oriented should submit to her husband’s will for a healthy home. Men & women are differently built, think & respond differently which only spirit filled couple can bring to a table and sort it out for the purpose of one flesh & bone.

There is need for the constant fellowship between God & couples in marriage to avoid a fall. There is need for proper definition of  a marital relationship based on Genesis 2

“This is now bone of my bones & flesh of my flesh”. That marriage was healthy till after satan’s interruption. It was in Genesis 3 that Adam’s relationship with his wife was affected. The first thing satan did was changing of their original understanding over marriage. Instead of seeing his wife as the bone of his bones and the flesh of his flesh, he started seeing her as “the woman whom you gave to be with me “ (Gen. 3:12)


Many homes today are a product of this fall and disaster. That change in understanding make s a lot of differences in marriages. The woman you gave to be with me. The  word ‘with’ in that verse showed a loose relationship that can be easily separated. If you are with a bank, you will someday leave the bank, either by expulsion or retirement. It indicates that one of them is different; they are just staying with each other. It means that since they see themselves as separate entities, they can also operate separately. Whenever a marital relationship starts collapsing, it could be the introduction of separate operation by the enemy just to faulter God’s original purpose in marriage.

Therefore, deep thinking and over thinking is required from any man or woman who actually want to be yoked in marriage. However, any well prayed, planned and understanding couple maintains a healthy home and children which produces a healthy scent / fragrance to the world.

Again, prayer is to a family what a roof is to a house. It protects those within from the enemies and adversities of life.


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